Managing Emotions
This month’s theme is focused on managing emotions. The following are various resources from family activities, individual activities and book recommendations you can participate in with your child.
Family Activities
Family Activity: We Feel Feelings in Our Bodies
Read Together:
We can focus on our own body to figure out our feelings. If those feelings are uncomfortable, it helps to talk to about them with an adult.
Ask your child: What clues from your body help you figure out that you are feeling worried? (response may include: Tummy hurts. Heart beats fast. Feet are hot/cold. Legs wobble.)
Ask your child: When you are feeling worried, what can you do to help you feel better?
(What we encourage: Tell a grown-up your feelings.)
Practice Together
When you notice your child is starting to have strong feelings, such as worry, anger, sadness, excitement, or disappointment, ask what he or she is feeling in his or her body.
Example
A friend or sibling just dropped your child’s favorite toy and it broke. Oh, I see that your favorite toy just broke. Put your hand on your tummy. What is it doing? Wait for your child to respond. Put your hand over your heart. What is it doing? Wait for your child to respond. Listen to your breathing. What is it doing? Wait for your child to respond. Can you name your feeling?
Why is it important?
When children realize they are having strong feelings, they can take steps to calm down to keep themselves from getting out of control.
Feeling Words
|
happy
|
sad
|
mad
|
angry
|
proud
|
tired
|
|
scared
|
shy
|
surprised
|
confused
|
interested
|
disgusted
|
Family Activity: Calming Down Strong Feelings
Read Together
Sometimes feelings can be strong and we can learn how to calm down those strong feelings.
Watch: Calming Down & Belly Breathing Lesson:
Ask your child: When you are starting to feel a strong feeling, what should you do? (What we encourage: Put hands on my tummy and say “Stop.”)
After you say stop, what should you do next? (What we encourage: Name my feeling.)
Then what can you do to calm down? (What we encourage: Take belly breaths.)
Can you show me how to belly breathe? Lead your child through belly breathing: Put your hands on your tummy. Focus on your breathing. Breathe in through your nose, making your tummy (belly) move out. Breathe out through your mouth, letting your tummy move in.
Practice Together
When you notice your child having strong feelings, remind him or her to use the Calming-Down Steps. Then, together with your child, practice belly breathing.
Example
Your child is starting to get frustrated. I see you’re having a strong feeling. Put your hands on your tummy and say “Stop.” Wait for your child to say stop. What are you feeling? Help your child name the feeling. Now let’s belly breathe together. Practice belly breathing with your child.
Why is it important?
When children’s feelings are very strong, it is hard for them to think clearly and pay attention. When children are calm, they are able to learn and get along better with others.
Family Activity: Managing Worry
Read Together
We can manage worried feelings using different Ways to Calm Down, such as belly breathing, using self-talk, and counting. We can also talk to a trusted grown-up when we have worried feelings.
Practice Together
Ask your child: How does your body feel when you’re worried? (Response may include: Butterflies in my tummy. Hot. Sweaty. Shaky.)
How can you calm down when you are feeling worried? (Response may include: Take belly breaths. Self-talk. Talk to a grown-up. Count.)
What can you say to yourself that will help you calm down when you feel worried? (Response may include: It will be okay. I will ask my teacher for help. I will ask my dad for help.)
If you are feeling worried about something at school, who is a grown-up you can talk to? (Help your child identify a trusted adult at school.)
If you are feeling worried about something at home, who is a grown-up you can talk to? (Help your child identify adult(s) he or she can talk to at home.)
Example
When you notice your child is worrying, help him or her name the feeling, then practice one or more of the ways to calm down they have learned in school. Then ask your child to talk to you about what is worrying him or her.
For example: I can tell by the way your eyebrows are scrunched together that you are worried. Let’s take some belly breathes together. Stop and breathe together. Can you tell me what is worrying you?
Why is it important?
When children have strong feelings of worry or anxiety, it is hard for them to focus attention and learn.
Family Activity: Introducing Emotion Management
Read Together
When you have strong feelings, it’s hard for your brain to think. The feeling part of the brain can take over! When this happens, it’s like you “flip your lid” or lose control of the thinking part of your brain. Try to focus your attention on your body for clues about how you’re feeling. This gets your brain thinking again, so it can start to take back control.
Practice Together
Don’t Flip Your Lid!
- Read “How to Make a Hand-Brain.” Watch “Hand Model of the Brain for Kids”
Video: Hand Model of the Brain
|
How to Make a Hand-Brain
|
|
Description
|
Action
|
|
Imagine your hand is your brain.
|
Hold your hand up, palm facing away from you.
|
|
The thumb is like the feeling part of the brain.
|
Fold thumb in on top of palm.
|
|
Your fingers are like the thinking part of the brain.
|
Fold fingers over thumb.
|
|
When you have strong feelings, it’s like you flip your lid.
|
Flip up your fingers.
|
|
The feeling part of the brain takes over.
|
Wiggle thumb.
|
- Pick a feeling and think of a time you felt strongly. (angry, worried, embarrassed, worried, exited, disappointed)
- Make a hand-brain that has flipped its lid.
- Think and talk about where you feel that feeling in your body.
- Fold your fingers back over your thumb as you get back control.
- Try another feeling.
Why is it important?
Thinking about feelings helps the thinking part of the brain start to get back into control. This helps children manage strong feelings.
Family Activity: Handling Making Mistakes
Read Together
When you feel strong feelings, you can use these steps to help you calm down:
- Stop – use your signal
- Name your feeling
- Calm down: Breathe, Count, Use positive self-talk
Practice Together
- Read “Belly Breathing”
- Practice together.
- Pick a feeling from the list: irritated, scared, upset, anxious, upset, frustrated
- Think of a time you felt that feeling in a strong way.
- Say a stop signal and name the feeling. (Example: Relax! I feel frustrated.)
- Practice belly breathing to calm down.
- Try with another feeling.
Why is it important?
When their strong feelings are under control, children are better able to think clearly and pay attention.
- Focus your attention on your breathing.
- Take a breath that makes your tummy move out when you breathe in and in when you breathe out.
- Breathe in and out slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. It should be so quietly that you can hardly hear it.
Family Activity: Managing Anger
Read Together
Everyone gets angry sometimes, but hurting other people’s feelings or bodies is not okay. Using the Ways to Calm Down can help you manage your anger so you don’t do something hurtful. After you stop and name your feelings, try one or more of the following to help you calm down:
- Belly breathing
- Counting
- Using positive self-talk
Physical Signs of Anger: Hot face, clenched fists, racing heart, headache, stomach ache, sweating, dizziness, shaking, tense shoulders.
Practice Together
Anger Advice
- Together, pretend you are giving advice to people who need help managing strong feelings.
- Read the letter from Angry Anna. She wants advice about how to manage her anger.
To Whom in May Concern,
Help! When I get angry, it feels like my blood is boiling. Sometimes, I want to scream or hurt someone. It’s really hard to keep my cool. I feel like I’ll blow my top! What can I do?
Sincerely,
Angry Anna
- Write a letter back with advice about how to manage angry feelings.
- First, tell Anna how to help identify her physical signs of anger. To help, think about the last time you felt really angry, then read “Physical Sings of Anger” list. What did you feel?
Physical Signs of Anger: Hot face, clenched fists, racing heart, headache, stomach ache, sweating, dizziness, shaking, tense shoulders.
- Next, tell Anna how to use the Calming Down Steps to calm down her angry feelings.
Why is it important?
When strong feelings are under control, children are better able to think clearly and avoid hurting other people’s bodies or feelings.
Family Activity: Understanding Complex Feelings
Read Together
You’re so confused. You feel happy about an upcoming trip to visit your cousin, but you’re also feeling a little nervous because this is the first time you’ve visited your cousin on your own. This is an example of having more than one feeling about a situation. And believe it or not, it’s very normal. Just ask an adult!
Practice Together
With an adult at home, read the situations below. Then fill in the blanks with your feelings. You can use the feelings words listed as suggestions. You’ll see that you’re not the only one who feels more than one feeling at the same time!
Feelings Words:
Excited, dread, happy, sad, joyful, angry, hopeful, frustrated, relaxed, anxious, confident, confused, pleased, irritated, relieved.
Example
Your best friend as invited you over. He/she has also invited over another person that you don’t get along with very well.
You: I feel excited. But I also feel anxious. Adult: I feel sad. But I also feel hopeful.
You’re having your favorite meal for dinner tonight. But it uses lots of pans, so there will be a huge mess in the kitchen that you have to clean up afterward.
You: I feel . But I also feel . Adult: I feel . But I also feel .
You have just finished up a big project. It took a very long time, but you are finally done. Now you have to show it to a whole bunch of people tomorrow.
You: I feel . But I also feel .
Adult: I feel . But I also feel .
Family Activity: Managing Anxiety
Read Together
You are a personal emotion trainer. You help keep your client’s emotions in tip-top shape! Today you are helping an adult at home work on managing anxiety.
Practice Together
First, complete the anxiety fitness form below with your adult. Then, practice managing anxiety using some of the Ways to Calm Down. You and your adult will be in super emotion shape in no time!
Anxiety Fitness Form
Situations in which I feel anxiety:
Student: .
Adult: .
The physical signs of anxiety I experience (name those you experience):
Stomach hurts, head hurts, feel warm, feel cold, shaky, mind races, can’t focus, muscles feel tense, sweat, think negative thoughts.
Situations in which I feel anxiety:
Student: .
Adult: .
What do you do to feel better when you’re feeling anxious?
Situations in which I feel anxiety:
Student: .
Adult: .
The following are Ways to Calm Down to use after you’ve stopped and named your feeling when you’re feeling anxious (view the video to learn more). Choose one or more to practice.
Breathe. Practice deep, centered breathing as done in class.
Count. Count backward from ten (or by twos or threes – or however you’d like.)
Use positive self-talk. What is something positive you can say to yourself when you are feeling anxious?
Why is it important?
Managing your anxiety effectively makes it easier to focus and succeed in social and academic situations.
Calm Down Video:
Family Activity: Managing Frustration
Read Together
Your muscles are tense. You’re starting to feel queasy. You want to scream! What’s going on? Are you sick? No! You’re just feeling frustrated. When you’re doing something difficult, or trying to master something new, it’s common to feel frustrated.
Practice Together
With an adult at home, answer the questions about frustration below. Thinking about the situations in which you feel frustration, then coming up with ways to calm down when you do, will help you handle frustration before it handles you!
Student: I feel frustrated when .
Adult: I feel frustrated when .
When I feel frustrated, I calm down by (name all that apply):
- Using deep, centered breathing
- Counting
- Using positive self-talk
- Walking away
- Taking a break
- Other
Student: The next time I feel frustrated in the situation I named above, I can say to myself (positive self-talk statement) .
Adult: The next time I feel frustrated in the situation I named above, I can say to myself (positive self-talk statement) .
Why is it important?
Frustration can get in the way of learning and reducing frustration reduces the chances of doing something you may regret later.
Book Recommendations
|
A Bad Case of Stripes | David Shannon
When Camilla gives up something she loves to be like everyone else, she comes
down with a bizarre illness—a bad case of the stripes! How will Camilla get back to her true, unstriped self?
|
|
|
The Bully Blockers Club | Teresa Bateman
Lotty Raccoon loves school—until a bully ruins her fun. Adults offer advice, but she comes up with a solution of her own: She and her friends form a club to stop the bullying.
|
|
|
Come With Me | Holly McGhee
A little girl, frightened by what she sees
A little girl, frightened by what she sees in the news, asks her parents what she can do. Their simple, perfect solution is to say, “Come with me.” Hand-in-hand, they face the world.
|
|
|
It’s Okay to Make Mistakes | Todd Parr
This little book is like a reassuring pep talk. Did you color outside the lines? Then you were creative! Were you clumsy, or did you invent a new move? This cheerful book will have you looking on the bright side of everything.
|
|
|
Jabari Jumps | Gaia Cornwall
Jabari thinks he’s totally ready to jump off the diving board—until he starts to climb the ladder. After some helpful talk from his dad, he does some stretches, takes some deep breaths, and surprises himself.
|
|
|
El Deafo | Cece Bell
Cece is self-conscious about her huge hearing aid. Then she discovers she can listen in on teachers’ conversations, and her deafness starts to feel like a superpower! Will it help her to conquer her loneliness and find a real friend?
|
|
|
Fish in a Tree | Lynda Mullaly Hunt
Ally can’t read, but none of her teachers have noticed. Until now, she’s fooled
everyone by changing schools and disrupting class. But her new teacher sees how bright she is, and helps her understand and cope with her dyslexia.
|
|
|
Inside Out and Back Again | Thanhha Lai
This lyrical fantasy novel tells the story of a girl who, after being abandoned by
her village, is being raised by the good witch who accidentally gave her some
troublesome magical powers.
|
|
|
Just My Luck | Cammie McGovern
Nothing seems to be going well for Benny: He can’t keep up with his brother on his
bike, he has trouble making new friends, and he’s worried about his dad. But his mom
helps him learn a moving, helpful lesson about caring for others.
|
|
|
Ms. Bixby’s Last Day | John David Anderson
Topher, Brand, and Steve are stunned to learn their favorite teacher is seriously
ill and leaving school right away. They go to extraordinary lengths to give her the
best possible last day, and learn a valuable lesson about cherishing ordinary joys in the process. (book talk)
|
|